tears

today my best friend's son goes into the mtc.  they drop him off at 12:40 p.m.  we went by last night to say our final farewell.  it was hard for me.  watching the whole scene in their living room and seeing their whole family together, packing him for the next two years... i couldn't stay long.  my emotions are all over the place these days.  lisa is so strong and she was smiling and focused.  i was ready to burst into tears at any time- so i thought it best to leave quickly.  i've sat and had long conversations with her about being ready for him to leave.  she's not.  she's doing a really good job of holding it together, but i know she's struggling pretty bad.  i don't envy her day today. 

my other best friend is sending her son off four days before christmas.  (ironically, to the exact same mission.)  we went through the temple with them on saturday.  ben is like another son to me.  he has spent a lot of time in our home.  he's been preston's best friend for the past 3 years.  i've known him since he was 13.  i warned his parents for the past couple of months that they were taking a risk asking me to be at the temple.  i knew my emotions would be totally out of control.  and they were.  i told jen that apparently my job was to make her look good. 

this next stage in life is killing me.  i am struggling with this much more than i ever expected.  i've been praying to find peace with all of this, and to welcome the changes that are coming.  not to mention, to figure out what is next for me personally.  my kids are growing up, now what do i do with me?

this was ben opening his call back in september.  resistancia, argentina.  preston broke down and lost it that night.  it was the first time it all felt extremely real to him.